Quote of the Week, 10

"I love, Love. Love is all you need." ~Rob Larson

All You Need is LOVE!

I strongly agree with this quote.  Granted other things are need to survive, but love is the foundation of it all.  Without love a person is just a drift in the wind.  There is no commitment or groundings to make a person feel wanted.  Personally speaking I feel that love is my greatest motivation.  Seeing others care about me and wanting me to succeed.  Therefore, if I do bad on something then I feel as though I let not only myself down, but also those that care for me.  With love most of the time the other things you need in life start to take shape around it.  Patience, Love, and Commitment will take you far in life if you have your priorities in a line.  

Quote of the Week, 9

"I can't imagine in all this time you have to be quiet that you don't have a lot of thoughts running through your head." ~Rob Larson

One would think that with all the time students sit in a classroom being lectured at that they would eventually speak up with something to say.  At some point in our life we have all been the student getting lectured at.  We pay attention occasionally to the teacher or who ever is talking, especially if what they are talking about is interesting.  However, we are all guilty of tuning a person out and pondering of something else we could be doing, or even what we might do as soon as class gets over. At the same time, I feel that some people are afraid to speak up though and say something. They might be shy, or fear what other students will think of them.  In all actuality majority of the time we do have thoughts running through our heads; we are just afraid to speak upon them.   

Viva Las Vegas

Think of the worst fight of your life. What made it so bad?
           I cannot think of a particular fight that was my worst fight ever because I rarely get involved in fights, either physical or verbal. The most recent fight that I can recall though is one that occurred between me and my uncle.  There weren't any punches being thrown or blood being splattered, but rather a verbal fight that had the potential of becoming worse.  I feel that this fight was so bad in my eyes because we are both family.  The words that were exchanged should not have been said to one another, especially in the environment we were in.  This fight in all actuality caused me to lose trust in my uncle, making us grow further apart.

How would you honestly like to react to verbal aggressiveness?
            I would love to be able to be a person that doesn't take anything personal.  Someone who can just let the words being said float in one ear and right out the other ear.  Taking nothing to heart, because majority of the time when someone is talking their mouth off they are not in a normal state of mind.  This can be caused by alcohol or other substances, lack of sleep, extreme stress and many other things.  Therefore, they might not actually mean what they are saying.

What do you usually do instead?
            When I hear someone talking their mouth off, especially about me or someone I care about, I can't sit back.  I get right in their face and try to put them in their place.  Disproving what they are trying to say and instead attempt at making them look like the idiot, which doesn't take much. I will not stop until I say what needs to be said.  This is a huge stress reliever I have found as well. 

Million Dollar Idea: Professional Dress Guidelines



What Not to Wear
 During a Speech

Professional dress attire is all in the eyes of the beholder. Some may see a person as overly dressed, making them feel uncomfortable because it is not what they are used to seeing.  Others might view the same person as under dressed.  Therefore, a person would not take the speaker seriously because they might think that the speaker does not take the topic seriously, apparent from their wardrobe selection.  I personally believe that if the speaker is confident and comfortable in what they are wearing while they are speaking this will be evident to the audience and they will not think poorly of them.  However, I do not think that blue jeans with the holes in them, t-shirts that are screen printed, and sneakers with grass stains are proper attire when up in front of a large group giving a speech.  This example of attire gives the impression you just got inside from playing outside and are about to wing a speech you have not prepared for.  


Similar to What I Will be Wearing
During my Speech

For my speech though, I will be wearing what makes me comfortable to be able to have fun with my speech.  I am going to wear black dress pants with my black dress shoes.  For a top I am going to wear my royal blue button up, because blue is the theme of my speech, and I might even roll the sleeves three-quarters of the way to be comfortable. I will however not me wearing a tie.  I feel as though when I have a tie on it changes who I am and also makes me more nervous.  I do not need additional nerves on top of the ones I will already be having.

LISTENING: Never Important Enough

(Dis)Confirmation- "Reflection of Ethics"

Ethical Choice Point- "On your way to work, you witness a father verbally abusing his three-year-old child. You worry that he might psychologically harm the child, and your first impulse is to speak up and tell this man that verbal abuse can have lasting effects on the child and often leads to physical abuse. At the same time, you don't want to interfere with his right to speak to his child, and you certainly don't want to make him angrier. What is your ethical obligation in this case? What would you do in this situation?"

         This is a great scenario because you never really know a persons actions until they are put into the situation.  Some will just sit back and walk away because it's not their problem to deal with.  While others will get right in their face and tell them to stop.  In my case I feel like it is my responsibility to protect and defend this child, even though I do not know them.  In this situation I would step in and get between the child and the father and act as a barrier between the two.  I would then look the father directly into the eyes and tell him.  That this child is three years old.  Whatever, they may or may not have none is understandable.  They are too young to realize what they should and should not do.  This does not mean when they do something wrong you start screaming at your child.  They don't realize they have done something wrong from yelling.  You need to calmly sit down with your child and fully explain why they can't do that.  If you do this a couple of times the child will start to realize when they are naughty.

1) Initial Response: Give a two minute editorial on Confirmation and Disconfirmation

         Confirmation is the opposite communication pattern.  In confirmation a person not only acknowledges the presence of another person but also indicates their acceptance of that person, of that person's self-definition, and of the initial person's relationship as defined or viewed by this other person. Whereas disconfirmation is a communication pattern in which we ignore someones presence as well as that person's communications. An example of disconfirmation would be a situation where say I am a white, American and you are Mexican.  Therefore, I am going to act like you don't exist because you have different colored skin as me and speak a different language as me.  An example of confirmation would be the same scenario, I am a white American and you are a Mexican. However, when I see you I acknowledge you by shaking your hand and allowing your input to be heard by me.

2) Follow Up Feedback
        
          For this portion I visited Sammi's Blog.  A phrase that clearly stood out for me was, "Unlike with disconfirmation, confirmation does not "blow people off"".  The slogan of "blow people off" is so true because a person who resembles qualities of disconfirmation truly do just blow people off.  They do not give the necessary appreciation towards others that is generally needed.  We are all created under the image of God and should be treated equal and fairly.

Nonverbal Communication

         When talking about nonverbal communication I know that I have both good nonverbal communication, but I also have poor nonverbal communication.  The poor nonverbal communication comes out when I am bored or not very interested in the situation I am in.  Examples of this is when I am just listening to a person ramble on, and on, and on again. My face does not lie very well, even when I try to control my expressions. However, when interested in my environment or even when I am having one on one conversation; I give the other person full attention.  I look them in the eye, follow their every move, and nod, raise my brows, and smile throughout their conversation.  Alerting them that I am paying attention to what they are saying and that I may agree with certain things they are saying, for ind other parts interesting and funny. Overall, I am an excellent nonverbal communicator.  All one has to do is watch me and they too will see.

 Creative Critical Thinking- Listening

For each part a) write the three potential responses as indicated; then, b) after completing all three situations, indicate what effects each type of response is likely to generate.

1)Enrique receives this semester's grades in the mail; they're a lot better than previous semesters' grades but are still not great. After opening the letter, Enrique says: "I really tried hard to get my grades up this semester." Enrique's parents respond:
~With Disconfirmation- "You said you were going to get your grades up, whatever who cares, I don't want to hear it."  This type of response is going to cause the child to become distant and they won't want to show their parents their report card anymore because the parent doesn't care about it, or maybe even them for that matter.
~With Rejection- "You said you tried hard, ha that's a good joke, the only thing hard for you was when I busted you looking at a playboy. You are just stupid, can't you own up to it yet."  This type of reaction is going to cause anger, and resentment.  The child might lash out, run away, or become socially unavailable towards their parent.
~With Confirmation- "I know you tried hard this semester honey, it is not your fault. You took some really hard classes and it happens to the best of us.  Just pick your head up and you will do better next semester." This type of reaction is going to make the child realize it is okay. It is not their fault and they will be closer with their parents because they have open communication between the two of them.

2) Elizabeth, who has been out of work for the past several weeks, says: "I feel like such a failure; I just can't seem to find a job. I've been pounding the pavement for the last five weeks and still nothing." Elizabeth's friend responds:
~With discontirmation- "You know we all have our issues and I can't really spend my time worrying about yours right now." This type of response might make Elizabeth upset because she thinks her friend doesn't care about her.
~With Rejection- "Yeah right you have been pounding the pavement for five weeks, I am sure you have with a guy on top, you slut." This type of response would most definitely end in a cat fight or brawl between two the two.  It would also end with the loss of a friendship, and Elizabeth might think negatively about herself.
~With  Confirmation- "Sweetie, you just have to hold your head up high. We are going through a recession right now and many people are out of work. It is okay you will find something eventually, if you need to stay with me in the mean time just come on over, my door is always open."  A response like this would make Elizabeth feel better about herself, especially knowing someone cared about her.

3) Candi's colleague at work comes to her overjoyed and tells her that she was just promoted to vice president of marketing, skipping three steps in the hierarchy and tripling her salary. Candi responds:
~With Disconfirmation- "Hmmm, that nice.... ummm... can you not see I am busy, Goodbye." A response like this might make the person feel as though Candi doesn't care and is not happy for them.  Could make the person depressed or unhappy that they loss a friendship at work.
~With Rejection- "Ha ha, good joke! April Fools. Get out of town, who did you have to sleep with to get that promotion?" This type of response from Candi might make the person think that they are a slut or a whore and that they didn't actually get the job because they were qualified, rather they got the job because they knew how to shake their ass.
~With Confirmation- "Oh my goodness, I am so happy for. I is about time you get noticed for all the hard work you put into this company. You truly deserve this promotion, you earned it!"  This type of response is the best response.  The person is going to feel good about themselves and Candi is happy with her actions as well.

Do you listen to people differently depending on the person speaking? Does your location or setting impact your listening potential?

I will admit that I listen to people differently.  If it is a person I respect I will give them the utter most importance, but if it is a person I cannot stand I listen in one ear and let it flow right out the other ear.  I do not do this often but it has occurred on occasion once or twice. The location has some role in a persons speaking but I feel like it is not always necessary.  An example is your not going to be telling jokes in a funeral home.  Everyone has always had that one person who is a nag, or makes smart ass remarks about you in a class.  So when it comes to their time to speak, why should I give them the respect of listening to what they have to say, when they do not respect me? The truth is that I do not have to respect them by listening to it.  I can merely tune them out.  However, if you give me the time of day, I will return the favor and listen to what you have to say with the fullest attention.

Extra Credit

Some benefits to effective listening are you get the full meaning of what your speaker is trying to say to you.  Also, you learn new ideas and ways of thinking from other people compared to your own ways. An effective listener is also better at their communication skills because they are watching the ways of the speaker by critique them.  This way a person know what they should avoid doing when they speak, or they learn new things they should try when speaking.

Love is a Battlefield

Culture/Media Impacts on Relationships
            Today in the United States relationships emphasize finding a person that makes you look good and a person that you are strongly attracted to.  Citizens of the United States think they need to find a person who likes the same things as them, a person that physically is like them.  Overall a significant other basically needs to be compatible with them.  However, at times this allusion could all result in fake love.  Many times girls look for guys that are active, have a good body, a person whose great in the bedroom and much more.  The same is true for what guys look for.  They want a stereotypical Blonde, with big boobs, a rocking body, and a freak in the bedroom.  These types of relationships are not good for society.  It's the number one reason why over fifty percent of all first marriages end in divorce.  People are not thinking of the future and where they see themselves.  They are merely just considered with what is happening now.  People need to re-evaluate their ways of finding a soul mate, and just maybe their odds of staying with that person with increase.

               Culture affects my personal relationship a lot because from my culture I am basically told the do's and the do not's in the dating world.  I am not allowed complete freedom in choosing my soul mate because of things that are instilled in my brain at a young age.  Media has a lot to do with this.  Media is responsible for this false image of what romance is.  Romance doesn't have to be an extravagant thing like showed in the movies, and what TV makes it up to be.  However, majority of the people think it does.  This is where problems occur.  Love should be left out of the movies and left more for the two falling for each other to discover on their own.  This way they are not disappointed when its not everything they thought it was going to be.

Relationship Characteristics
            I have been in a happy relationship for almost two years come this May.  The things we both looked for in the relationship were not based upon appearances, even though it is a bonus she's so cute looking.  You grow to love a person for who they are overtime.  We never rushed anything, we let it come slowly.  Which is a reason why I believe our relationship works so good, we didn't just jump into it.  However, the biggest thing I looked for was finding a person that I could trust.  I tell my significant other everything, I don't keep secrets from her and she doesn't keep anything from me.  You must have a solid form of communication prior to starting any type of relationship.  These are important to me because you just never know, the person you date one day could be the person you grow old with tomorrow.  The type of lover I am considered is, Storge.  The definition of storge is an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity.  This is so true especially when viewing the relationship I am currently in.  I did not rush into anything because I did not want to cause harm onto anyone. 

           When looking for friends I try to associate myself with people that are a lot like me.  People who are open, and people I can trust.  People that have similar interests as me, and dislikes as me.  This way it is easier to connect with.  I do though experience different cultures, not just my own.  One of my good, good friends was born and raised in Bulgaria and moved here when she was a teen.  I have known her for three years and I am glad shes in my life. I consider myself a great friend, because I will always have my friends back whenever they need a helping hand.  I do not gossip or talk behind their back and am always there to have fun with and laugh with.

Examples of real life situations for reciprocity, receptivity, and association.
~Reciprocity- An example of this is when a friend of mine was being talked about behind their back, I stepped in and said, "hey, look what your saying is not true, and you know it.  If you have a something to say, say it to their face." I am thus loyal to them in this situation.
~Receptivity- An example of this is always helping my friend who struggles in math help on their homework.  I am in this case the primary giver and my other friend is the receiver.  Yet I learn from that an still value him as a friend, because I trust and know he's not using me.
~Association- An example of this is me just casually saying hello, and talking to someone in the hall, class, work, etc. I just am casual because I don't consider us the closest of friends, and/or its because I do not fully trust that person.

The LOVE Project
(Sorry it is not in a video format. My computer and/or the camcorder was not cooperating with me. Sorry for that.)

The true meaning of life is Love.  With love you can go far and succeed greatly.  There are many different forms of love out there though.  Through my poster that I made I focused on a few prime forms of love.  Granted there are many other forms out there, and many few points change in the eye of the beholder.  My poster is broken into sections to focus on key areas of it more closely.  I hope you enjoy my interpretation of the forms of love.



To the right is two main photos that express love.  The top image is of two children holding hands and walking.  This photo is meant to express, discovering love. We all started at someplace of loving one another.  The lower image is the ultimate form of love.  Expressing our love to one other person for the rest of our lives.  We were not forced to love this person but rather we fell in love with them.  Therefore, this form of love is ever growing because majority of the time when two people fall in love and get married also start a family sometime after that.  Hence why this is the ever lasting form of love.



Other forms of love are a parents love for their child and even a person fighting for their country.  As you can see the images to the right are a mother holding her baby's hand and also an image of fellow soldiers carrying a fallin soldiers casket.  This image is a true image of love to me.  This person devoted their life to their country to provide a better for its people.  I honor and respect anyone that would do this for their country.  A mother holding her childs hand is also another form of love.  Its a beginning, teaching your child to love you and also you falling in love with a new human being that you can be pround of knowing its yours.

Other images that can be seen in the smaller images are of a persons love for nature.  Something we should all love because without our mother nature we would not be here today.  We owe everything to our world, reasons why we should also not abuse plant earth.  There is also an image of two older people walking hand in hand.  I found this a form of love because when we decide to get married to a person in early adulthood we are thus with them until death do us part I feel.  Therefore, there should still be a spark in each others eye for one another. Finally my last image is of, Sternberg's Traiangular Theory of Love, which states in order for there to be love there needs to be an equal relationship between Passion, Commitment, and Intamacy.  Once you have all three of these things it sets up the prime conditions for love.

The Great Debate

The debate held in class, on Friday the 13th, on whether or not our particular human communications class was worthwhile or not, was very interesting.  In conclusion, the judge's came to a general vote, 4 to 3, that our class indeed is not worthwhile. 

I was appointed to the role of being a judge.  However, my vote was not with the majority, rather I sided with the group who believed our class was indeed worthwhile.  Some reasons why I sided with them is they actually understood the meaning of a debate.  They used solid quotes, valid points, and factual statistics about our class in general.  Whereas the other team was just making up their information on the fly.  I believe that some members on the judges panel were more biased, due to their lack of class participation.  Therefore, I personally believe the other sided should have won. 

Our human communications class has taught me different forms of communicating with others, via Twitter, Linked In, and Blogger.  For this I value your style of teaching and strongly believe that you should not let this small debate influence your teaching style.  Keep up the great job of teaching and don't change who you are for someone else.  Also know that there are students in your class that work very hard and do try to the best of their abilities.